He saved my life.......

Being born a woman....
I was born into a family of 11 surviving children. 
We were taught to be respectful  and be quiet. I never remember being held and told I was loved. I was one among many needy.... 
When something traumatic happened, whether it was to me or someone else in the family,  
it was NOT talked about. 
I came to you today in this blog, 
To say, we must stop suppressing conversations about hard topics.
I was raped when I was sixteen, and had absolutely no one to talk to about it.
Not understanding what that did to my heart combined with no one to talk to began a long cycle of self loathing.
I felt like a dime store toy.
Cheap and tossed aside only to be picked up every so often and then tossed aside again. 
Every woman I know has some similar kind of trauma.
Now, as an adult,  left to figure out who we really are and to fight for ourselves to be authentic.
What I am about to tell you is how I began to be healed. 
Alone, just me and Jesus, I began searching His Word to find peace. Just enough peace to make it through another day....
Not peace for tomorrow,  just for that day.
I took my time reading passages I had in the past read through and not understood. 
Slowly......and I do mean Slowly, God became my confidant.
The One who always heard my cries and understood my pain.
He had been with me during all those traumatic moments. 
He is a personal  God. 
He doesn't mind listening to our whinning and complaining. 

HE is our Savior in every sense of the word.
When I say He saved my life.....
I mean HE saved my life and He can save yours.
~love jackie 


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